I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
