we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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