THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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