I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
