check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
