I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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