Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
and she was petting her beer can
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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