My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
