drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
