i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Rumble strips road head = magical
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
