Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
