I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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