You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
A bitchslap is in order.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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