I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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