8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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