Where is the hickey?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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