it's too hot outside to masturbate.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
