My friends, they love my intelligence
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
