are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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