please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
