He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
