I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize