had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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