It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
