what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
