i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
two words: eviction party
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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