so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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