your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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