Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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