It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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