yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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