On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize