Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
