i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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