I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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