normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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