Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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