plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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