This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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