i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
