I puked a lego.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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