She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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