I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
