But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
