We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
