he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
