Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
