Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
