Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
