Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
