fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
