You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
