party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just high enough for therapy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
