Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
