My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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