How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize