he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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