Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize