Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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