I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
