it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All the doctor said was why
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
